I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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