That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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