People with herpes should wear stickers.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize