she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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