I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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