I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
