glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
