screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
