Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
