he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
