make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize