Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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