She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
