Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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