You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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