so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
