Acid is not a monday night drug
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
