I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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