god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
