Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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