Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
don't judge my taste in strippers
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
