Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
