TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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