Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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