listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
time to smoke my breakfast
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
