why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it hurts more in the daytime
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
