I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize