What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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