After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
