You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think im going to throw up on grandma
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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