it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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