he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The air was thick with penises
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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