you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
