It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
