I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
