next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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