This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize