What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Randomize
