I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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