I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
