You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Boobs are out for the taking
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
