The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize