Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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