i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I need a beard to bite.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
