After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
