oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
