Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
