Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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