Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I seem to have left my pride at pride
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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