Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
