so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
