so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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