Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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