i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
