She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
