I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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