Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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