i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
