she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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