I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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