Princesses don't give blow jobs
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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