Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
