Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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