People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
